When you were served with the petition, you were also served with a Summons. The summons is a formal court document that tells you two critical things: that a lawsuit has been filed against you, and that you have a specific amount of time to respond. In Missouri, that window is typically thirty days from the date of service.
Thirty days is not a long time. Especially when you are in shock, when you are grieving, when you are trying to figure out where to live and who to call and how to explain this to your kids. But those thirty days are legally binding. If you do not file a response within that window, the court can enter a default judgment against you — meaning the petitioner gets everything they asked for without any challenge from you.
What the Summons Requires
The summons will direct you to file a written response called an “Entry of Appearance and Answer” or simply an “Answer.” This document formally acknowledges the lawsuit and responds to the allegations in the petition. It is not where you tell your whole story. It is where you say, on a paragraph-by-paragraph basis, whether you admit, deny, or lack sufficient knowledge to respond to each allegation.
This is a legal pleading. It needs to be done correctly. Filing an improper or incomplete answer can waive rights you didn’t know you were giving up. This is another reason why securing legal representation quickly is so important.
The Difference Between Served Date and Filed Date
The thirty-day clock starts on the date you were personally served, not the date the petition was filed. Keep your copy of the summons, which will show the date of service. Count from that date. Do not assume you have more time than you do.
If you are running up against the deadline and still don’t have an attorney, you may be able to file a simple entry of appearance to toll the clock while you secure representation. But don’t count on this — get moving.
Do not ignore the summons or assume the deadline will be extended automatically. Missouri courts do not wait for men who are not paying attention. A default judgment in a custody case can take significant time and resources to undo, and it sends exactly the wrong message to the court about your priorities as a parent.
Immediate Actions
In the first seventy-two hours after being served, your priority list is simple: (1) write down the date you were served; (2) make copies of everything you received; (3) contact at least two family law attorneys for consultations; (4) begin gathering financial documents. That’s it. Don’t try to do everything at once. Focus on those four things.
If you are active duty or a recent veteran and were served while deployed or shortly after returning, the Servicemembers Civil Relief Act (SCRA) may provide you certain protections, including the ability to request a stay of proceedings. Talk to a JAG officer or a civilian attorney familiar with the SCRA. These protections are real, but they are not automatic — you must request them and they must be properly documented.
- 1.Do you know the exact date you were served? Have you counted your thirty-day deadline?
- 2.What is currently stopping you from contacting an attorney, and what would it take to remove that barrier?
- 3.What financial documents do you have access to right now, and what would you need to gather?
God, the clock is ticking and I feel the pressure of it. Give me the clarity to move deliberately and not freeze. Help me to take the next right step rather than being overwhelmed by all the steps at once. You have never failed to provide what I needed when I needed it. I trust You to provide wisdom, resources, and the right people in my path right now. Amen.
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